Kingdom Pants
by Rail and Tracer
Summary: Crack humor oneshot. Sora ends up in the DGM universe while trying to save the worlds. Kanda thinks his pants are unusual. "Give me your Innocence."


This cracky idea come to us because of texts. It was pretty great.

Beware of crappiness and major OOC-ness, but I'm bored. XD

Also not sure which section this would go in, but I chose this one because you guys will get the joke more. Although let it be known that I agonized long and hard over that decision. And may still change my mind. We'll see.

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_"Donald, Goofy, King Micky! Somebody! Riku!_ Riku! Help!"

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Sora had no idea how this had happened. Somehow he had gotten separated from Donald and Goofy once they got to the new world. They had been chased by some people in a strange black coats who had been screaming something about 'Akuma'. During the commotion Sora had had to get some potions and change Keyblades a couple times, getting them from his usual storage place; his pants.

This had somehow attracted the attention of one of the people in black coats, so now Sora was desperately trying to keep him away from him until someone could come help.

Sora yelped when the man, older teen now that he looked closer, trapped him against a wall. Sora looked around desperately trying to find a way out. He was a Keyblade Master for gods sake, and he was trapped by this boy who's hair Kairi would be jealous of.

It was long and black, held back in a ponytail. And he had a sword. A big sword. Not nearly as big as Sephiroths or Clouds, but it was good-sized none the less and Sora did _not_ like it being pointed at him.

"Give me your pants," the teen growled and Sora had a moment of intense disbelief and stupidity.

"What?"

"Your pants, there seems to be something unusual about them. Give them to me, I need to look at them."

"What? No! There's nothing unusual about my pants! What are you talking about, you freak?" Sora exclaimed, still looking for an opportunity to escape.

Sora squeaked when the teen lowered his sword and lunged forward almost too fast for him to follow and made a grab for his pants.

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That brought us back to where we were now. With Sora screaming for help from_ anybody_.

Suddenly Riku appeared out of the portal to the darkness. Sora's sigh of almost-relief turned into a yelp as the teen finally got a hold of his pants, yanking at them. The black-haired teen didn't have a hold on them very long as he was suddenly floored by a flying tackle.

As soon as they hit the ground Riku was jumping back up and back, barely avoiding being sliced by the teens sword. Summoning his own Keyblade he deflected it and hopped back so he was in front of Sora.

"What's going on here?" he asked quietly.

"I don't know! Sora said, one hand grabbing on to the back of Riku's vest. He put the fact that Riku had randomly appeared out of the Darkness with Sora just _calling_ for him after looking desperately for him and Kairi for what seemed like forever from his mind, he'd confront him about that later, but for now...

"He wants in my pants." Sora said and Riku stopped glaring at Kanda for a moment to glace back at the smaller boy.

"What?"

Sora looked down and scuffed his foot on the ground. "He said there's something unusual about them." Riku raised an eyebrow and looked back at the older teen dark haired teen.

"Who are you?" he asked menacingly

"None of your business." the other boy said, "Just give me what I want."

"And what do you want?" Sora asked timidly.

"Your Innocence." the teen said and left the two boys stunned.

Before they had a chance to reply there was a loud crash as a wall near them collapsed, and a boy a little taller than Sora emerged from the rubble. Shaking his head, clay dust falling from his white hair he glared at the teen that was harassing them.

"Kanda, what the hell are you doing?" he asked. "We have a job to do."

Riku narrowed his eyes. So the other boys name was Kanda, huh? He'd just have to remember that for later.

"Bean sprout, what are_ you_ doing? There is something unusual about these people and I'm going to find out what." Kanda growled.

The white haired boy sighed, as if he was used to it and muttered, "It's Allen," he then raised his voice more, "These people...and duck...and dog...thing, uh, they have nothing to do with the Earl or the Akuma or anything. They're just passing through I guess. Leave them alone and quit harassing them."

"How do you know?" Kanda asked, ignoring Riku and Sora for the moment to focus his hostility on Allen.

"There's this thing called talking. You should try it some time." Allen said, fed up with the other boys attitude.

While the two boys were arguing Riku and Sora turned to each other.

"Let's get out of here," Sora whispered, "I still need to find Donald and Goofy so I can save the worlds." and Riku nodded.

They would leave for now, and he would get to spend some 'quality time' with Sora, but he would be back. No one tried to get into Soras pants but him.

Kanda was going to pay for that.

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End


End file.
